Imaginary Angel
by EbonySkies
Summary: Sam's drunk and Gabriel is there to help him. Or maybe Sam's just hallucinating.


I don't ship Sam and Gabriel but I felt this piece went better with Gabriel's personality than Balthazar's so this happened. I don't own Supernatural or it's characters and this was just for fun.

The ending kind of happened, I'm not exactly thrilled with it but it's done what I wanted so enjoy.

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><p>Gabriel flew into Sam's room and sighed at the sight of the taller man. Sam was hunched over in a chair, nearly empty bottle of cheap whiskey hung precariously from his hand and he was on the brink of falling into the darkness of blackout drunk.<p>

"Sam," Gabriel said softly.

Sam's head swam as he looked for the voice. His eyes refused to focus properly but still he tried to stand. His legs wouldn't cooperate and he couldn't find the chair when he reached back for it. He'd never remembered being that drunk before. If he weren't in a total state of self-loathing he probably would have been afraid. Honestly though he felt like death would be a gift. At least if he were dead he couldn't hurt anyone anymore, he wouldn't have to fight so hard for people to see that he was more than a murderer, and he wouldn't have to wake up each morning and realize that he had to live another day as Sam Winchester.

With a loud thud, Sam fell to the ground. Gabriel sighed as he tried to get Sam back on his feet. When Sam fought him, Gabe threw him to the bed. The small room didn't leave much space for Gabe to keep his distance even if he'd wanted too. He looked around noticing that there were no personal touches. If Cas was right they'd been in the bunker for quite a while

"Sop! Leave me lone! Go!" Sam shouted drunkenly.

"I'm not going to do that," Gabe said sitting beside Sam on the bed.

"Why?" Sam sounded pathetic and small, "M useless nd I mess things up all th time. Nothin good I ever done ws good. Just a mess."

"That's not true. You may mess up but you always try to fix those mistakes. It may seem like the world is against you and you may feel like you're not worthy of anything good in your life but you do. You deserve everything, I'd give you the world if I could because I know how much you struggle. Dean may still use your flaws and your misguidances against you sometimes but it's because he's scared he's going to lose you. There is so much inside you that I wish everyone else could see. You're beautiful, you're human to every extent of the world and while you may not think that gives you a right to mess up every now and then you're wrong. I've seen you struggle with the loss of your family, with the addictions of your circumstances, with the need to do right by your brother and by the world. You've seen every nightmare in the world and have stood to face and defeat it not for yourself but for someone else," Gabriel said softly as he sat next to Sam.

"M selfish," Sam started to rebuke.

"NO!" Gabriel shouted sufficiently shutting Sam up, "You are not selfish for wanting to be happy, for wanting a life, for wanting to be normal! You deserve that! Dean may not understand what you feel but it do! I know what it feels like to be the little brother running around trying to fit in with your family but really just wanting to be yourself! That doesn't make you selfish. Time to figure your life out doesn't mean you're a bad guy. Because in the end you're always fighting for the greater good, even at the cost of your own life. No matter how messed up your life is you drop everything whenever anyone calls for help, no matter how much you want to give up you find the strength to get back out there and save lives. How many lives have you already saved? You single handedly stopped the apocalypse, you've died for the world so many times, you've given up more than anyone else to save people who will never thank or understand you.

"I'm sorry that this life sucks and that you hurt, I'm sorry that you can't see all that you've done with everyone pushing against you or throwing things in your face, but you are so much more than what everyone sees. You are strong and brave and selfless and the greatest human ever to live. Not because it was decided for you a millennia before you were born but because no matter how much hurt and suck and loss is thrown your way you find your way to your feet. You live to fight another day even on days when you can't understand why you do it at all. I'm sorry you are filled with this ugly darkness and that you let it consume you because you are your own worst enemy. You don't see how beautiful you really are with all the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don't see how brightly you shine or how strong you are because if I could do one thing for you it would be to show you just how amazing and perfect you are.

"Sam Winchester, you are the savior of the human race, and though your soul may be tainted it shines more beautifully than any other I've ever seen because through all the diversity of life you're still here, feeling like shit for all you've done."

Sam had tears running down his face when Gabe had finished. He sat up and hugged the angel tightly wishing more than anything he could believe what the angel had said. But deep down Sam knew that Gabe wasn't really there and that it was his subconscious trying to convince him not to give up.

"I love you Gabe, I'll always love you. I wish you were here," Sam sobbed.

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><p>Dean dropped the bags of groceries in the kitchen. He turned to leave when Gabriel appeared before him. With a start, Dean jumped back.<p>

"Jesus, dude a little warning!" Dean scolded.

Gabriel just watched Dean react. He didn't have anything really to say but he was going to wait for Dean to say something.

"Sam a mess again? Probably, that's the only time you show up here. Letting him think you're just in his head there to make things easier for him. Drunk as all hell too I bet. Stupid kid," Dean shook his head.

Before Dean even knew what had happened he was pinned to the wall. Gabriel slowly walked over while giving Dean a menacing glare.

"Don't you dare start deprecating him! That 'stupid kid' is the only reason you're still alive. He may be having a break down and not understand what he's worth but you don't get to make that worse on him. He already knows how much you look down on him for not being enough of anything to you but you are wrong. That 'stupid kid' has done more than you ever will. You may refuse to acknowledge it but I won't. You will never be even a quarter of the man he is and I know you blame him for that. you're a giant miasma od suckage and shit, we both know it, and you still take it out on him because you know there's hope for him. So you keep off his back because I nay only come to him when he's contemplating killing himself but you're only there to put the knife I his hand. So when he comes out of this you are going to tell him how much of an amazing person, not hunter, person , he is and stop putting so much pressure on him to hate himself as much as you do yourself because this world would end without him. The stars would fall and the ground would crack allowing every nasty and unpleasant thing to feast upon the living without that boy and he deserves to be treated as such," Gabriel hissed venomously.

The angel turned and allowed Dean to fall unceremoniously to the ground in a heap. Dean stood quickly and brushed himself off.

"You're a dick, Gabriel and my brother does deserve more, more than you, more than me, more than this life, but this is what he has and he'd better learn to live with that," Dean started.

"No, don't you settle for this. Whether you choose to believe it or not, Sam loves the shit out of you and does everything in his power to make your approval and to make you proud while you call him out on stupid petty shit that makes no difference in life. Start taking better care of him or you're going to regret it. You take that however you want because honestly you're not going to get another chance. He's got a deal with death and you'll never get him back if you lose him again. Maybe act like you care if you can't make yourself actually do it because Sammy is sitting on a ledge and there isn't much stability under it to keep him here," Gabriel said before disappearing.

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><p>Sam choked on a sob trying to keep it quiet. He felt Gabriel softly wipe the tears from his face.<p>

"I love you babe, more than anything so keep strong. Call for me if you get lonely because no matter what I'll always be here. Things will get better, I promise things will get better," Gabriel said.

With a soft kiss Gabriel laid Sam down and tucked him in. when he was sure Sam was asleep he flew away until the next time Sam needed him.


End file.
